edemaorial

11/10/06

I didn’t eat anything on Wendsday but I had a feeling it was a false start.

On Thursday I ate things,

I had coffee, figNewtons and meat.

inFact i should have been typing this yesterday.

I want to upGrade website design power and ability, so i’ve been looking into that, to present things.

i got angry at one person on the train yesterday, after they kept looking at me and looking away, I felt it was an affectionate thing so I blurted out “That’s three times” and I held up three fingers on my right hand (three as in the amount of times that person thought they were playing cat and mouse with me, sorry not my cup of tea) that person made a shocked look and then consciously focused on something else, and i thought- gee that worked out pretty well, considering that i just qualified for another outBurst…

but then on my transfer second train there was this woman who was totally enduring a mother with her child playing and stepping all over this woman’s feet, after the mother and child got off, right before it was my stop, I spoke spoke to the woman and told her that is was cool that she held her tongue for as long as she did…. she just didn’t want to tell someone how to raise their kid, not after a long day of work.

 

editorialist

11/07/06

I’m going to have to write a book on all the crap that goes on in the subway, I’m calling too many people on it, my outbursts are at an all time high- I’m going to stop that immediately.

It’s not my fault that it is true that you could say that most people are lost in their own world, I really wish this wasn’t the case, I mean I’m really rooting for us.

Oh, bTw I’m going to start starving myself, I want to go for three days, that’s my usual, anything after that and I get sick, I do drink small amounts of water and fluid, I’ll keep you posted.

Would you turn down the semiFinals? no not me, although at the moment I am terribly ashamed of myself,

therefore I am going to make up for it with cheap shots and dirty tricks, yea that’s me, it’s time to get back to tripping people and placing something on their seats and tying their shoelaces,

but only the bad ones right?

sure.

You can’t believe that I believe that I steer myself wrong, there was a time that I went where ever the hell I wanted, and it was disrespectful, now everything gets that respect, to one degree or another, but I’ll tear someone’s heart out for stepping on my toes,

could be a side effect/affect,

you think?

I saw this crazy film on censored stuff that can’t be shown in the uSa, and I saw that in some places they send herds of different animals into fields to trigger mines and clear the area, and there was this one shot where a young buck nails a mine and perfectly goes flying in the air, I mean fully in tact and spinning real high, and I really understand why it’s a joke, it’s one big fucking morbid joke, it’s a joke because it’s that absurd,

because Human nature is that insane

regardless of the reasons

but not me

right?

oh no not you and I

that just couldn’t be the case.

speak to you soon, been neglecting the diary, i can’t wait

 

Editorials (a)

11/06/06

And i got to thinking how evil some people are and how far removed some of us have become when dealing with these people,

and i think about what they do or don’t do in their lives, in their reasoning and beliefs, that makes them who they are,

and i see their language as clear as anything has ever been to me, as if it is the very language that i am raised from, but distorted and wasted.

You see, I’m thinking that no matter what happens in life and the world, there are some things that I will always believe in, that will not change regardless of the variables and circumstances,

but i will find myself with these variables and in these circumstances and i will face the moments with the same language it faces me,

and i hate it, and i hate myself, because i know how well i can hide, and i know how well i can keep a secret, but there is no other choice, there just is no other way, i mean there will be and are times when we will have the control we need, the control we want, that helps good spirits achieve great things,

but for now, and for a long time, for what seems like a lifetime, i am in this cycle of filth, operating with massively jaded and damaged people, people with an extreme violence for any response,

i have matched this violence, i have matched this universal language, and the results are horrifying, just as i suspected, just as i knew all along

but i have come across somebody, i have convinced them to start up a mySpace page, i’ll get back to you on that.

Now, i have been somewhat blessed to keep this myspace seperate from my personal bloodsuckers, but it may only be a matter of time before they get a hold of me here and liter my site with nonsense and problems, as i have made quite a few enemies in the physical sense, and i expect when they finally pick themselves off of the street, and pick up their pieces, they will be looking to get revenge.

I ask anyone who knows me and who i am talking about (these evil people) to think- when have i ever not been prepared, I’ll tell you right now, i have things to do, so nobody is taking me out, and i have a lot to answer to, so take a fucking number.

To all my great friends and family- Nothing Changes! my blood is for life and my life is my word, don’t you worry one bit.

One love-